Upcoming
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Fargo, Watchmen, and the New Television History of America
The first episode of this new season of Fargo, now airing on FX and Hulu, begins with a history lesson. It’s not the sort of lesson you’d find in a high school history textbook. It concerns the growth and changing leadership of the Kansas City underworld from the very start of the twentieth century up to 1950, when the main body of the show takes place. It shows how the criminal elements of that city were initially under the control of a Jewish crime syndicate until the Irish came to town and made a deal straight out of Feudalism. This deal results, inevitably from the tone of the show, in…
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Archer is the Middle Child of Adult Animation. I’m So Happy He’s Finally Awake.
Archer’s back. And he’s funnier than he’s been in at least five years. It’s honestly a relief to see. After three coma seasons, a mixed PI season that also involved an abrupt (and quickly forgotten) relocation to Los Angeles, and an oddly bitter return to the spy formula in Season 6; Archer in Season 11 is finally awake and (way more important) finally having fun again. Archer, as a television show, occupies an interesting middle ground in adult animation. It came in 2009, after the initial wave in the 90s and early 2000s that created the titans of the genre like The Simpsons, Family Guy, South Park, Futurama, and King…
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The Boys Will Show You the Truth: Superheroes are Terrifying.
Imagine you are a criminal. I know, I know. You’re not. You’re a good person with hopes and dreams and you pay your taxes on time. You never speed in school zones. But, just for a second, imagine it. Let’s say you and your crew (cause of course you have a crew) have decided to commit a standard starter-crime in a comic book universe. You’re going to rob a bank. The reasons why you choose to rob a bank, or even why that particular bank on that particular day in that particular part of Metropolis/Gotham/Spiderman’s New York; don’t particularly matter. They matter to you of course. Maybe you are simply…
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Solar Opposites: Living in the Shadow of Rick and Morty
Orson Welles wrote, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane when he was 25. Despite the fact that its’ box office performance was only considered mediocre at the time (it was eventually re-released and made plenty of money, don’t worry), it was…you know, Citizen Kane. Even now, just the title is considered shorthand for ‘great fucking movie’. The myth is that Orson Welles spent the rest of his career trying to live up to the impossible-to-meet expectations set by Citizen Kane, his debut feature film. Though it is somewhat disproven by the string of successful movies he acted in, or directed throughout his career or just the famous opening sequence in…
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Why Does Star Wars Matter So Much?
I’m exhausted today, as I write this post. Last Monday, on Star Wars Day (May the 4th be with you), my roommates and I re-watched Empire Strikes Back to celebrate. Watching that fantastic movie for the fiftieth time (at least for myself), naturally got us talking about all manner of things related to Star Wars. And then, as seems to be the case recently whenever nerds the world over begin speaking about the storied franchise, we started talking about everything we thought had gone wrong with the sequel trilogy. That conversation just wrapped up half an hour ago. That’s why I didn’t post anything last Wednesday. Nine straight days to…
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Mortal Kombat, Castlevania, and The Last of Us. Solving Video Game Adaptations.
A couple days ago I watched Mortal Kombat (1995) for the first time with my roommates. We’ve been watching a ton of movies during quarantine recently, as I’m sure many of you are as well. It’s been fun. Honestly, one of the small pieces of silver lining from this whole pandemic, for me, is how pleasantly surprised I’ve been by almost everything I’ve watched lately. Even re-watching The Hobbit trilogy for the first time since theaters was more enjoyable than I expected. Mortal Kombat still sucks though. The story has so many plot-holes it might as well be a piece of Swiss Cheese handled by an overeager four-year-old with a…
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How the Artemis Fowl Movie Really Came to Be
One of the first book series I can remember choosing for myself and absolutely falling in love with is Artemis Fowl. I was nine years old when I read the first book in the series and it blew my little fucking mind. I had never read a book with a character like Artemis, essentially an evil genius and yet he was the main character. Kids books didn’t do that before. It was “Die Hard with fairies” but the main character was a young Hans Gruber with a more marketable accent. What’s not to love? Then, a couple weeks ago, I saw the abomination of a trailer for the movie adaptation,…
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The Doors of Stone and Everything Else We Want
You heard it here first, folks! Patrick Rothfuss, acclaimed fantasy writer and full-grown garden gnome, has announced The Doors of Stone will be released in physical and eBook format tomorrow. Apparently, the long-awaited novel has been finished for years, with Rothfuss delaying publication to build up fan anticipation for his work. “Yeah, this book was finished by like 2014,” says Rothfuss, whose gnome beard is now longer than he is tall, in response to questions. “I just didn’t want to be one of those boring writers pushing out books every other year. Who wants that? I figured a nine year wait would be the perfect amount of time to stack…
