Bullshit
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The Boys Will Show You the Truth: Superheroes are Terrifying.
Imagine you are a criminal. I know, I know. You’re not. You’re a good person with hopes and dreams and you pay your taxes on time. You never speed in school zones. But, just for a second, imagine it. Let’s say you and your crew (cause of course you have a crew) have decided to commit a standard starter-crime in a comic book universe. You’re going to rob a bank. The reasons why you choose to rob a bank, or even why that particular bank on that particular day in that particular part of Metropolis/Gotham/Spiderman’s New York; don’t particularly matter. They matter to you of course. Maybe you are simply…
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Bill & Ted Face the Music is the Sequel America Needs Now
Sometimes a movie just turns out better than it should. The premise is tired, or it’s a sequel to a series that everyone (probably rightly) thought was long dead, or it’s made by a director or studio that you have deservedly lost all confidence in. Yet it works. Something about it, the writing, the way all the main actors commit to their roles, the fact that updated effects actually managed to make a difference. It just works. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is a great example of this; a pointless cash-grab decades-late sequel that’s somehow hilarious and just plain enjoyable to watch. The first Pirates of the Caribbean; a movie…
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The Bubble is a Metaphor: the Strange Pleasure of Sports in a Pandemic.
Edit: So this article aged hilariously fast, didn’t it? Apologies for how immediately wrongheaded this article proved to be. I stand by the parts that are still both accurate and relevant. I’ve been watching a lot of hockey and basketball lately. That is not my attempt to excuse the utter lack of content I’ve been posting to this site for the last couple months. That gap occurred because all my writing time and thought were dedicated to finishing an agent-ready draft of my novel (which I have now done, so get at me agents!), and I didn’t want to waste your time and mine with some half-assed post neither of…
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An Ode to Bookstores
I miss bookstores. Do you miss bookstores? Now, look, there are plenty of other admittedly more important problems arising from this quarantine; and plenty of other more visibly devastated mediums. One of the best things about a book after all, is that it can provide you with the same joy and escape and thought no matter where you bought it or where you’re reading it. A movie is objectively different when seen in a theater compared to your TV. Live music is how music is meant to be experienced. The loss of movie theaters and concerts right now is a tragedy and I desperately hope both of those industries can…
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Tinder Conversations in the Time of COVID
Tinder sucks. This is a fact, not an opinion. It’s something that anyone who has any experience of the app knows is true in the same way we know gravity pulls things down to Earth, water is a requirement for life, and the Eragon movie is a tragedy beyond imagining. It’s an awful, shallow app that magnifies all the worst parts of yourself while destroying any shred of self-esteem you might have had lying around. All of which might be why it’s so popular. It’s an almost perfect analog for all the ways normal IRL dating make you feel. All from the convenience of your phone, just a swipe away.…
